Politician gets a taste of his own medicine

While walking down the street one day, a high- ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the politician.

“Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the politician.

“I'm sorry but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and has a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it's time to visit Heaven.” So 24 hours pass with the politician head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: “Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the politician and lays an arm on his neck.

“I don't understand,” stammers the politician. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is here is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Of course! Yesterday we were campaigning.  Today you voted for us!”

 

When the kitchen sinks

How is it I can remember every word of a song from 1964, but I can't for the life of me remember why I walked into the kitchen?

 

Wrestling with the truth . . .

David Letterman...
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

Howard Hughes...
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I'm a billionaire.


Old Italian proverb...
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

Betsy Salkind...
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

Jean Kerr...
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

Zsa  Zsa Gabor...
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage.

Jeff Foxworthy...
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

Prince Philip...
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Emo Philips...
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Harrison Ford...
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.

Spike Milligan...
The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.


Robin Hall...
Lawyers believe a person is innocent until proven broke.

Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Having more money doesn't make you happier.  I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.


W.H Auden...
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. 

 


 

 


 

 

 

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About the author

Jennia Ganit Chodorov

Jennia, who introduced the Humor Page in the Esra Magazine 14 years ago, also initiated Tolerance Education projects in the Sharon area and served as Chairperson in 1997. After developing export ma...
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